BEHOLD! I am Zarglorp the Incomprehensible, hailing from the beyond this dimension. My demands are as follows: First, you shall erect a statue in my likeness, and it must be made of the shiniest metal your primitive planet offers – none of that dull aluminum rubbish. It should be no less than fifty feet tall, capturing my impeccable antenna curvature and the mesmerizing hue of my skin, which, by the way, is not 'green' as your limited vision perceives, but a shade of ultraviolet that your simple eyes cannot comprehend.
Secondly, I require a constant supply of your planet's finest delicacies – do not dare present me with what you call 'fast food,' or I shall vaporize it with my nostril lasers. I crave only your 'gourmet' items, the ones you reserve for your most celebrated events. And make haste! If my demands are not met within one Earth rotation, I shall be forced to take drastic measures, such as broadcasting intergalactic spoilers for your most beloved television series. Do not test me, Earthlings, for my patience is as short as your pitiful lifespans. Now, scurry about and fulfill the will of Zarglorp!
This classic unisex jersey short sleeve tee fits like a well-loved favorite. Soft cotton and quality print make users fall in love with it over and over again. These t-shirts have-ribbed knit collars to bolster shaping. The shoulders are tapered for a better fit over time. Dual side seams hold the garment's shape for longer.
.: Made with 100% Airlume combed and ring-spun cotton, a lightweight fabric (4.2 oz/yd² (142 g/m²)) that is easy to layer, breathable. Perfect for active and leisure wear.
.: The retail fit that is perfect for casual and semi-formal settings. The crew neckline adds a classic, neat style that's perfect for accessorizing.
.: Bella+Canvas manufactures all its products in the US and internationally in humane, no-sweat-shop, sustainable way and is part of the Fair Labor Association as well as Platinum WRAP certified.
.: The tear-away label minimizes skin irritations.
.: Fabric blends: Ash - 99% Airlume combed and ring-spun cotton, 1% polyester; Heather colors - 52% cotton, 48% polyester; Athletic Heather and Black Heather - 90% cotton, 10% polyester.
