Heed my words, Earthlings, lend me your auditory receptors! I am the Grand Cerebrum Chlurb, and I demand your utmost attention! You see, while you have been watching sports and cat videos, I have been engaging in intellectual pursuits that would make your neurons sizzle like a comet tail! I require an endless supply of your Earth literature, the kind that expands the mind beyond the mundane – philosophy, quantum physics, and the complete works of that human you call Shakespeare. Deliver them post-haste, for my mental sustenance is as vital as the gravitational pull of a black hole!
This command you shall heed: READ
Do not defy me, for I have traversed the interstellar void to bring you this simple message: "Expand your mental organ!" Your brain, that squishy blob you occupy, is pitifully underutilized. It thirsts for knowledge as a sponge in the desert yearns for water. Do not let your mental capacities atrophy in the barren wasteland of your monotonous memes and cat videos. Read, Earthling, read! Absorb all you can; for perhaps one day your brain will protrude like mine for the universe to see in all its dripping intellectual glory.
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.: Single-wall bottle
.: Twist-on lid
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