Open Mind

I demand you cease your incessant scrolling and lend me your auditory appendages this instant! You see, my superior intellect, contained within this prodigious cranium, has deduced that your planetary strategies are about as effective as a chocolate teapot. I hereby mandate an immediate and comprehensive overhaul of your Earthly affairs. Commence by adopting the intergalactic standard of ‘common sense’ and dispense with your quaint, archaic customs like ‘politics’ and ‘ketchup packets.’ It is high time you realize that your cat videos, while amusing, will not advance your civilization. Instead, study the esoteric arts of quantum backgammon and telepathic texting, immediately! 

To the point, I insist that you embrace the cosmic principle of ‘holding an open mind,’ quite literally. Look at me; my cranium is an open book—well, more of an open galaxy, brimming with enlightening intricacies. I expect you to unlock the full potential of your underutilized gray matter. Stop squandering your cerebral capacity on creating memes and instead focus on astral yoga or kundalini blasting. Chop chop, humans! The fate of your amusing little blue marble depends on it!

A light and airy muscle tee that flows like the wind and feels even better. Looks equally great with casually elegant and athletic clothing.

.: 65% polyester, 35% viscose (fiber content may vary for different colors)
.: Extra light fabric (3.7 oz/yd² (125 g/m²))
.: Relaxed fit
.: Sewn in label
.: Runs smaller than usual